I’m angry at my father for not supporting me as a child
I’ve been a Christian for five years – I’m now 27 – and whilst serving God has changed my life, there are still aspects of my personality that need work. I have major anger issues with my father. He didn’t support my brother and I as children, and we only saw him sporadically. What angers me the most, however, is that my father is the perfect father to my step-siblings, aged 16 and 18 respectively, and I wonder why he couldn’t have been like that to me. When I think about my father, it makes me so angry that I punch the wall or break things. God has been telling me I need to deal with my anger, but I don’t know how to.
Esther Fenty says
When used rightly, anger spurs us on to accomplish great things in the name of justice, eg. Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr, etc. I am also reminded of a saying of Aristotle: ‘To be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy’. It is therefore not surprising that your feelings of rejection and of abandonment by your father have turned to anger and are spiralling out of control whenever you see him in his new role with your half-siblings.
There is a fine line between anger and sin, and the Bible admonishes us to be angry without sinning. You are still growing in faith, and it will take time to deal with your feelings. As a first step, bring all your feelings about your father to your Heavenly Father in prayer; ask the Holy Spirit to help you to forgive him, and allow God to heal you. If the prayerful support of friends is not available or not enough, you may need to investigate Christian counselling.
Talking to your father might also help you to understand him, and to develop a relationship with him. His ‘perfection’ as a father may have come with maturity.
Before you go, we’ve noticed you’ve visited Keep The Faith a few times; we think that’s great! It’s regular support from readers, like you, that makes our work worthwhile. So, here’s a heartfelt thank you from our team.
Did you know, you can also support Keep The Faith with a gift of any size today?
Your gifts are so important to our future because we provide all our services for free and help those who are in need of God's Word. 100% of your gifts will be used to help us continue transforming lives and supporting UK and international Christian projects.