Mean church girls are making life difficult for me

Why are people in church so mean? I’m 24, and became a Christian after living a very chaotic and promiscuous lifestyle. If it were not for the support I received from the pastor and his wife, I would have left. Whilst the guys are quite friendly, the women have behaved awfully towards me; have been very unfriendly, and have said very horrible bitchy things about me pertaining to my past. I thought when an individual became a Christian all things were passed away; all things became new. I’m not sure what I should do or can do to change this situation.

Fiona, Bristol

Esther Fenty replies

Yes, everything changed when you became a Christian. The Bible is explicit in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that you are a new creation in Christ Jesus. It is more important that you believe and affirm this for yourself, than to wait for others to do so. You may not be able to change their attitude, but you can change yours; both to yourself and to them.

It is a pity that Christian women, who have been part of the church longer than you, choose to behave in this way. However, you do not have to act like them. It is likely that there is a great ministry waiting to be birthed in you, and the enemy is using these women to try to destroy it – and you. If you do not react to their behaviour, you will grow in Christ and see your ministry blossom.

May I suggest that every time you hear something negative, you will need to remind yourself that you are forgiven, and that the Creator of the universe knows you by name; loves you, and that there is no greater love than His. Then pray for these women as Jesus did: ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.’

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