Recently married and soon-to-be first time mother at 40, Esther Kuku reflects on her life to date, and shares why there is a reason for all the seasons we go through
If someone had told me when I was thirty what my life would look like at forty, I am sure that I would have shed a few less tears.
I remember my 30th birthday as being awful. I got saved at 19, and the dream was to be married by the time I was 25 and have a big family. However, on my 30th birthday, I was still single and, rather than see all the good that God had done, I magnified the disappointments of failed relationships and broken promises. The funny thing is, I never doubted that I would get married and have a family; I was just disillusioned that God – the divine vending machine – hadn’t coughed up these promises in my timeframe.
Fast track 10 years and, two months after my 40th birthday last year, I got married to the most amazing man on the planet. He came with two beautiful children (aged six and eight), a heart sold out for God, and the ability to make a mean Sunday roast! Suddenly, after quiet Bank Holidays and weekends alone, I am shouting at children to stop sliding down the banisters, while my husband says, “Baby, that’s what children do!” We serve a God who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we can ask or think, according to the power that works within us. He didn’t just place me in a family – according to Psalm 68:6 – but three months after getting married, I fell pregnant.
You see, if only I had fully understood the revelation of the different seasons our lives go through. Now, after years of waiting, I am juggling being a stepmother of two, a new wife and, in nine weeks’ time, motherhood for the first time.
The reality is that my twenties and thirties were a season of intense preparation. God was giving me a testimony. Today, if you asked me if I was ready for married life, I would honestly say, ‘Well I should be.’ While this whole marriage thing is a gift, it’s also hard work! I thank God that, despite not knowing why I was single for so long, I had fun and didn’t spend all the extra time I had wallowing in depression.
Thank God I learned how to cook and keep house, went on holidays, and built a network of amazing girlfriends that are just as vital to my life now as they were then.
Just as crops have a growing season, we have to go through various seasons in our life to mature and grow. Genesis 8:22 says, ‘As long as the earth remains, there will be springtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night.’ Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, ‘To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven.’
“Just as crops have a growing season, we have to go through various seasons in our life to mature and grow.”
Daniel 2:21 says, ‘And He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings.’ And in that Scripture lies the hardest truth: The seasons of our lives are beyond our control. It’s in God’s hands when our winter ends and our spring starts.
It’s crucial that we become adept at understanding the season of life that we are in, as this will prevent us from making bad choices in life. I was never going to get married at 25, as the man God had for me wasn’t even saved then! I needed to sow seeds of prayer into the ground for him, as he was in the world and going through his own trials. The reality is that what felt like a season of unending winter for both of us, when nothing seemed to be growing in our lives, was actually God turning the soil of our hearts so we were ready for each other.
If you ever speak to a mountain and it doesn’t move – in my case when I was 25, it was a mountain of singleness – then maybe it’s not the devil, maybe it’s a protective block in the road, resurrected by God to prevent you from making a mistake that will cost you your destiny. There is a huge difference between demonic strongholds of resistance and opposition, and protective barriers that are set in place by God to stop us from moving outside of his timing.
When it’s your harvest time, all the doors of promise in your life will swing open. Let’s not try and run ahead of God and end up with second best, whether that relates to a job, a new home or a spouse. It doesn’t matter how old we are. The Word of God states that He who began a good work in our lives will be faithful to complete it. At the appointed time, you will prosper and, when your season of breakthrough comes, don’t be afraid; be strong and embrace it with joy.