Lusting is not virtuous

Dear sisters in Christ,

Before I begin this article I want you to know this is not an attack on you. This article is to make you self-examine, as we need to do better, we need to be the ones to build and not be the pawn in the enemy’s games.

Recently I was on a business call with a young Pastor from New Jersey USA, concerning his book. I could sense in his voice he was very tense, and nervous. I thought maybe it was down to my British accent or it’s his first business venture.

When the business conversation ended he let out a huge sigh, and starting thanking me. He started thanking me for not pursuing him.

‘It has become so hard to trust women that’s it difficult to know who is genuine and who is not, especially someone in my position.’ He said.

He then led me to one of his social media pages where he posted a selfie with his dogs. I read the comments from women who proclaimed to be Christian and honestly they sounded desperate, ridiculously desperate. Comments I read, ‘baby you’re mine,’ ‘what a sexy man you are,’ ‘Oooo lala,’ and when I looked at their profile these women proclaimed to love Christ, and some were pictured with their partners.

I felt so bad for him and so ashamed, I apologised on behalf of Christian women. He continued to say, if he did like someone, how would he know that she is genuine, and will she be able to cope. He thanked me again for allowing the Lord to use me giving him some restoration in women.

Ladies wake up this needs to stop, and I know he is not the only man who has been or is going through this. Our brothers in Christ have enough spiritual warfare, especially those in ministry going on without Ladies adding to the fuel. Think about it if some woman was approaching your son in a lustful, sexually way as a Christian would you be happy? No! You would most likely say, son you need to forget these types of women.

Sisters before you comment on something, think will it be first and foremost pleasing to God, He sees and I know that these lustful comments will not be pleasing to Him, according to His word. If the man is struggling with pride or arrogance by saying inappropriate things you are boasting his ego, and that struggle. How about commenting on the things he does for Christ? How about putting scripture on the post?

Secondly if you believe by making inappropriate comments it will make the man like you, then sorry ladies you’re mistaken. They will like you for one thing only, but they will not perceive you as being wife material. In fact it will put them off, at first the Pastor told me he admitted the attention was flattening, but then after a while it got demising.

Ladies we can do better than this, we are supposed to be an example to the world. Let’s show them we respect ourselves, even if a man is physically attractive we don’t need to pay him any kind of attention at all, in fact we must encourage them to grow deeper in Christ, and pray for them. At the end of the day people portray what they want you to see, not what they really are like, especially on social media.

The only man you pay special attention to, is the one God will give you as your husband, whether you are single or married let people see Christ in you, I am not saying we have to be perfect, however let’s not make that an excuse, not to strive for excellence.

Sisters let us remain virtuous, let us do things that are pleasing to God and not be the cause of allowing our brothers to sin or making them see women in a bad light. Be respectful, at the end of the day that is someone’s father, brother, cousin, or even husband that you’re being disrespectful too.

With love.


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