My journey to finding God in midlife
Carol Stewart explains why she decided to follow Christ in her mid 40s and why churches need to explore how to share the Gospel with the middle-aged and older
Like many children of the Windrush Generation, I went to church as a child because I had to. On reaching my teens and an age where I could protest against it, I stopped going. Despite this, I still described myself as a Christian when filling out forms or whenever asked what my religion was.
At the age of 22, I had my son and separated from his father when he was six years old. At 29, as a single mum with a mortgage, I went through challenging times. It was upon reaching the age of 42 and having achieved several promotions at work that I was in the best place I had ever been materialistically. I was in a good position financially; my son was away at university and doing well, and I was engaged to be married.
Despite this, I felt as if something was missing and, at times, I felt empty. This coincided with Michael Jackson’s death. I had bought tickets for his concert, which never happened because he died. Michael was considered a musical genius, yet his life ended so tragically. I couldn’t comprehend this, and it got me questioning what life was about.
One Saturday evening, home alone, an overwhelming feeling of emptiness came over me. I cried out to God asking what was wrong with me and I felt a desire to go to church. Because I didn’t attend church, I didn’t know which one to go to. I remembered visiting a church a few years previously that a work colleague had invited me to, and I decided to go there.
I looked online to find out when the service started and went the following morning. I expected the earth to move as a sign from God, but it didn’t. But it felt right, and I felt at peace, so I went back the following week. A few weeks later it seemed like the pastor was speaking directly to me and I responded to the altar call. Spending time reading the Bible – things I had heard as a child – and going to church began to make sense. As I got to know God, I realised how important having a personal relationship with Him is, something I hadn’t experienced growing up.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about those of my generation who do not know God. For many, there is a blurring of biblical, cultural and secular, such as automatically assuming that a person is at peace and in heaven when they die. Or certain phrases, such as “God helps those who help themselves”, or “Cleanliness is next to godliness”, which many mistakenly believe to be biblical. They think that doing good and living good is enough (as I had). But no one comes to the Father except through Jesus.
Research by Grey Matter Research & Consulting and Infinity Concepts in 2024 found that 72% of evangelical Protestants came to faith before the age of 18. The same study found that only 8% of evangelical Protestants came to their faith aged 40 or over. A 2017 poll by the Church of England found that, of the 8,150 adults who responded, just 5% said they became Christians after the age of 18.
For some of my generation, as they begin to realise they have spent more years on this earth than they have left, they become more aware of their mortality, and this leads them to God. For some, losing parents or members of their peer group gets them questioning life and turning to God. But what about those who don’t? Those who do good, live above the law, give their time and money to charity, and work hard raising their families? This is a demographic often overlooked by the Church.
Nine years ago, I started a blog called ‘Finding God at Midlife’ and non-believing friends told me they got something from it. But things became too busy, and before I knew it, the weeks and months turned into years without me writing it. That is, until January of this year. During a period of prayer and fasting, I believe God was telling me to start it up again. This is heightened, having lost two people of my age group unexpectedly over the past two years – people who were close to me. I don’t know if they reconciled with God in their last moments. I can only hope that they did.
Reaching people over the age of 40 requires a different approach than engaging younger audiences, as they often have established beliefs, routines, and life responsibilities. Many are going through major life transitions, such as career shifts, parenting challenges, or personal loss. Churches would do well to think about how to connect with them where they are at.
CAROL STEWART
Business owner, Executive Leadership coach, speaker, and author
Visit www.aboundingsolutions.com