Why going to therapy is a godly thing

Dr T Ayodele Ajayi shares why men should consider having therapy if they are experiencing emotional or psychological trauma and the biblical basis for it

Brothers, let’s be honest. We know how to lead in prayer, provide for our families, and stand firm in faith. Alas, when it comes to our own wounds – the ones nobody sees – we often suffer in silence. In our churches and in our culture, strength is too often defined by how well we can suppress pain. But what if real strength is found in vulnerability? What if going to therapy isn’t a sign of weakness, but of wisdom – a deeply godly act?

After a quarter of a century as a psychiatrist – and over two decades serving as a pastor and sitting on pastoral boards – I believe it’s time we explore why seeking emotional and mental support may be one of the most courageous and spiritual decisions a Christian man can make.

What is therapy really?
Here’s the thing: you can pray and see a therapist. Jesus and a therapist can form a holy combo for the modern man.

Therapy offers a safe, supportive relationship that helps heal the wounds caused by other relationships. It provides space to reflect, make meaning, plan, build courage, and discover new perspectives and solutions to emotional pain.

Let’s be real – it’s not easy. Therapy is an act of bravery. One in three people who book a therapy appointment never show up. Of those who do, many stop attending after just a few sessions. But that’s exactly why engaging in therapy is an act of godly courage – because healing is not passive. It takes humility and strength.

Why should a Christian man consider therapy?

1. We are tripartite beings
We are spirit, soul (our thoughts, emotions, will and reasoning), and body. God cares about every part of us. In 1 Thessalonians 5:23, Paul prays for the wholeness of all three parts. While we often prioritise our spirits and increasingly care for our bodies, soul care is still neglected in many churches. Therapy can play a vital role in this kind of transformational soul care.

Even biblical men leaned on therapeutic relationships: Moses had Jethro, David had Jonathan, and Jesus sought the emotional support of His disciples in Gethsemane.

2. Faith and therapy are not at odds
Many therapeutic principles are grounded in Scripture. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), for example, mirrors Romans 12:2 and Philippians 4:8 in challenging toxic thinking.
The Bible validates our emotional lives:

• ‘The Lord is close to the broken-hearted’ (Psalm 34:18)
• Journaling? See the Psalms
• Meditation? Joshua 1:8
• Gratitude? All through Paul’s letters

Therapy, when rooted in faith, is simply another way God ministers healing.

3. Black men and the silent mental health crisis
In the UK, Black men are disproportionately diagnosed with serious mental health conditions. Yet, we are the least likely to seek early help or present with common mental health struggles. The stigma is real. But we cannot heal what we won’t acknowledge. The silence is costing lives, families and legacies. Men are three times as likely to die by suicide in the UK, and young men of Black African or Black Caribbean origin are disproportionately more at risk.

4. Therapy changes lives and destinies
I’ve witnessed the shift in men’s marriages, ministries, fatherhood, and self-worth when they  undergo therapy.

Take Alfred. He came to therapy, struggling with emotional disconnection from his wife, lacking the confidence to be the father he longed to be. Through therapy, he uncovered the root of his self-rejection – childhood experiences of parental rejection. For the first time, things began to make sense and that improved matters in the bedroom, living room and boardroom.

There are countless ‘Alfreds’ in our churches – men waiting for permission to feel, speak and heal.

5. What’s next?
As someone uniquely positioned as both psychiatrist and pastor, I say this with reverence: it’s time for church leaders to stop dissuading our members from therapy or downplaying the role of professional mental health support. Some of our brothers are carrying generational trauma that requires more than prayer or pastoral counselling alone.

The good news? There are now gifted Christian therapists – culturally attuned, spiritually grounded – who can help.

Dear Christian Man…
You may never fully walk in your purpose until you’ve healed from the wounds within.
So I challenge you to break the mould, do your research on therapy, speak with trusted Christian mental health professionals, and talk to other men who have been through it. You can also ask your GP for options and commit to the journey.

Your freedom, fulfilment and future may lie on the other side of that first session.

Unsure where to begin learning about therapy?  Visit my YouTube channel Tripart Care and check out my video on “How to Help Men Talk About Emotions”. You can also email tripartcare@gmail.com

Brother, healing is holy – and you are worth it.

DR T AYODELE AJAYI  MBChB FRCPsych

Consultant psychiatrist, founder of the Tripart Care Emotional Wellbeing Hub.

Instagram: @tayodeleajayi