The challenge of being male, masculine and Christian

Pastor Clement Okusi calls on Christian men who want to be masculine to follow the example of Christ and be courageous, responsible and demonstrate servant leadership

Men and masculinity are under attack. It seems fashionable today to attribute many of society’s problems to men. Often the attack is presented as a way of helping men by rescuing them from their (toxic) masculinity, resulting in many men becoming confused and conflicted in how they should behave and what it means to be a man.

I wish to suggest several causes that have contributed to this crisis in masculinity.

Feminism
Though no doubt well-meaning in their original aims, some feminist groups, such as the #MeToo movement (an example of fourth-wave feminism), have stated that the problem in society is the behaviour of men, labelling traditional masculinity as “toxic”. These groups often deny the biological differences between men and women, confusing equality of opportunity with equality of outcome. The sad irony is that fighting against the patriarchy leaves women unprotected and men unfulfilled.

Feminisation of the home
There are around three million single-parent homes in the UK, with 90% of them led by women. This means a significant portion of males are being raised without a father in the home. This has contributed to many young men becoming over-mothered and under-fathered. Boys need their fathers!

Where the father is present, too often the bringing up of the children is left to the mum. Men need men to disciple their sons, lovingly discipline them, and challenge them.

Feminisation of our schools
Seventy-six per cent of schoolteachers are female. When my son was in primary school, other than the football coaches, there was only one male teacher in the entire school. Studies clearly show that male teachers positively influence a boy’s academic and social development. A woman cannot teach a boy how to be a man (2 Timothy 2:2).

Feminisation of our churches
Despite the majority of church leaders being male, many men find church environments to be feminine and lacking in masculine opportunities for participation and leadership. In addition, female congregants outnumber men 2 to 1 in many churches. This has, in turn, feminised the messages being preached and the songs being sung (they are more sentimental). Furthermore, fewer men are entering the pastorate, whereas there has been a marked increase in female pastors.

Feminisation of marriages
I have performed more than 50 Christian wedding ceremonies over the last 20 years and am increasingly being asked to remove the words “submit” and “obey” from the woman’s vows (Ephesians 5:24). Traditionally, the man was viewed as the head of the house – the priest, prophet, protector and provider of the home.

Fear of men
There is this unhealthy idea that men are dangerous, evil and cannot always be trusted, and that they are murderers, rapists, paedophiles, robbers and abusers. Whilst the data would support that most of these crimes are committed by men, these are often the symptoms rather than the root causes. As Christians, we must remember we are involved in spiritual warfare and that we have an enemy who prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8). The devil hates men (Exodus 1:15-16) and is always seeking to destroy them.

The way forward – Ingredients of Christian masculinity
As Christians, the answer to masculinity is to look to Jesus Christ – the ultimate picture of manhood. Jesus was the perfect Man, who defined masculinity not through being a bully or bravado, but through lovingly serving others, sacrificing Himself for others and  demonstrating power under control.

One of the ingredients of Christian masculinity is servant leadership. Jesus demonstrated this when He washed the feet of His disciples (John 13:1–17). In doing so, Jesus redefined leadership as an act of service. Christian men are called to lead by serving others – especially in the family, church and society. 

Another ingredient of Christian masculinity is responsibility. Men grow through taking on responsibility. Without it, men never reach their full potential. In Genesis 2:15, God gave Adam the responsibility of managing the garden (work) before bringing him Eve (wife) in Genesis 2:22. I have never performed a wedding where the man was not in work.

Courage is another necessary quality. Throughout Scripture, men of God are told: ‘Be strong and courageous’ (Joshua 1:9), and to be strong, act like men (1 Corinthians 16:13). Christian men are to be strong in their convictions and beliefs, even when the culture is against everything they believe in.

Ultimately, Christian masculinity is about becoming more like Christ, the perfect Man who was strong yet tender, bold yet meek, holy yet merciful.

PASTOR CLEMENT OKUSI
Leader of Eternity Church, an Assemblies of God Zone leader, and a property investor. He is married with four children and one grandchild.