Standing firm in power and pride: Reclaiming confidence as Black women of faith

Carol Stewart reminds Christians that their actions and beliefs about themselves should be in alignment with their faith in God, and if it isn’t, says it’s time to change

This year’s theme for the UK’s Black History Month is ‘Standing Firm in Power and Pride’ –  emphasising both the strength and cultural identity of Black communities worldwide, while encouraging individuals to embrace their own power and pride.

As an executive coach and coaching psychologist, over the years, I have coached many Black women leaders working in corporate organisations who are Christians. Invariably, when they first come for coaching, I am unaware they are Christians, and it is often the case that they are unaware I am as well. Awareness of this is developed in the process of us working together.

They have been worn down by systemic barriers and internalised trauma or oppression from early life experiences. This has chipped away at their self-belief and self-confidence, and it is stressful. They are hard on themselves, and many experience imposter syndrome and often perfectionism.

When I find out they are Christians, I have to remind them Whose they are and who they are. Their faith in God is not translating to their thinking and feelings they have about themselves and, in turn, their actions and behaviour. This often leaves me wondering how well (or not) the Church equips believers to deal with the psychological in addition to the spiritual.

We are spirits in a physical body and, as such, subject to the challenges that the physical body experiences. We need to be able to deal with these physical and psychological challenges. I regularly see that a belief in God does not translate to a belief in themselves.

It is not easy to walk in unshakeable confidence and faith if our belief in ourselves has been shaped by early life experiences that have led us to develop self-limiting beliefs that negatively affect our self-confidence. Add to that trauma carried from emotional hurts, and our brains signal the stress response in situations perceived to be threatening (which can be psychological as well as physical). For a lot of us, this has been our default position for most of our lives, if not all.

So, whilst on a rational level they know the Scriptures, they have the faith and belief in God, it has not permeated to their core. This can be difficult for someone to talk about openly in a church environment – particularly if the environment is very spiritualised. This can leave people feeling embarrassed and ashamed, and they hold themselves back. They don’t use their gifts to the extent they are capable of, and the Church and society miss out.

Church leaders would do well to recognise this and look to provide support/training if we are to see more Christians taking up leadership positions and positions of influence – not just within the Church, but also in society. A lot of their members are called to be light in the marketplace.

If what I have mentioned above describes you, this is my encouragement to you this Black History Month: embrace your power and pride.

Many of us are led by our emotions, and the way we think affects how we feel, and we act and behave according to how we are feeling. If you think and believe you are not good enough, it is likely to make you feel anxious and fearful. As a result, you will either not do what you need or want to do. Or you will do it, but because you’re so anxious, you don’t do it to the best of your ability.

Challenge your thoughts and beliefs and look for the evidence that supports them. Dispute them with what the Word of God says about you. Just because you think something, it doesn’t mean you have to believe it if it is not true.

If you change what you think and believe about yourself, you change how you feel. If you change how you feel, you change how you act and behave. Amid the busyness of your work and lives, make regular time to pause and be still – to self-reflect and to spend distraction-free time in God’s presence. Journalling is a great tool to explore your thoughts and check whether they align with what God says about you and change how you think and feel.

Remember, God has not given you a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. Despite the setbacks, the knockbacks, the rejection, you ARE good enough because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Never let anyone make you think otherwise.

This Black History Month, standing firm in power and pride means recognising not only Whose we are, but reclaiming the confidence to step fully into our calling – in the workplace, in the Church, and in the world.

CAROL STEWART

Award-winning executive coach, coaching psychologist and founder of www.aboundingsolutions.com.  Follow on LinkedIn