Do men hate women?

Leondre Douglas shares some thoughts following a recent discussion where men did a deep dive and explored their own and society’s attitude to women

On Monday 9 March, I had the privilege of joining a group of millennial and Gen Z men at 4:12 Men’s ‘Men’s Monday’ gathering. Running since 2019, these gatherings offer a vital space for men to engage openly with contemporary issues through the lens of Christian faith. Led by Pastor Ayokunu Oduniyi, Men’s Monday has become a place where community, solace and genuine brotherhood take shape.

The theme that evening was deliberately provocative: Do men hate women?

For some, the answer was immediate: no. Yet, as we depersonalised the question and examined it more carefully, a more unsettling possibility emerged. Perhaps men do hate women, at least in a way that often goes unnoticed or unchallenged.

Rethinking ‘hate’: A biblical lens

In everyday usage, ‘hate’ is usually understood as ‘intense dislike or hostility’. By that definition, it would be difficult to argue that men universally hate women.

However, Scripture invites us to think more carefully about the term.

In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word most often translated as ‘hate’ is śānēʾ. While it can mean to detest or reject, it is frequently used to mean ‘to love less’ or ‘to set aside in preference for another’. In many biblical texts, hatred is less about emotional animosity and more about priority and covenant loyalty.

A similar idea appears in the New Testament. The Greek word miseō, commonly translated as ‘hate’, can also mean to ‘renounce, choose against’, or ‘assign lesser importance to’. Jesus often used this kind of language in comparative or hyperbolic ways, common within Jewish teaching.

This is clear in Luke 14:26, where Jesus says that anyone who does not ‘hate’ their family – and even their own life – cannot be His disciple. Read alongside His commands to love neighbours, honour parents and love enemies, it is clear that Jesus is not promoting resentment. Rather, He is calling for total allegiance, placing Him above every other loyalty.

Do men hate women?

This understanding brings us back to the original question. At the gathering, I suggested that, by this biblical definition, men do hate women.

Our society has long been structured in ways that favour men. History shows that when a group benefits from established norms, there is often resistance to changing them. When men fail to question or challenge systems that favour them at women’s expense, they are effectively assigning women a lower priority.

This can also be seen in cultural narratives. Take the way Henry VIII and his six wives are commonly taught in schools. Rarely are his actions framed in moral terms or described as misogynistic. Instead, the story is often presented with emotional distance, as if the women themselves matter less than the political drama surrounding him.

Many millennials can point to MTV culture as another example. Women’s bodies were routinely commodified and objectified – with minimal sustained critique. The lack of widespread advocacy suggests a troubling indifference to women’s dignity. Participation in or silence towards such cultures raises important questions about whose value is truly being prioritised.

The Church is not exempt

It would be easy to limit this conversation to wider culture, but faithfulness requires us to look inward as well. While Scripture affirms distinct and purposeful roles for men and women, these distinctions can sometimes become entangled with cultural assumptions. Leadership, authority and visibility may be subtly equated with greater spiritual worth, leaving women feeling overlooked – not because of biblical conviction, but because of inherited practices that have gone largely unexamined.

This is not an argument against complementarity, but an invitation to embody it more faithfully. If the Church is to reflect the Gospel with integrity, our shared life must display the biblical truth that men and women are equally created in God’s image, equally redeemed by Christ, and equally heirs of grace – even as we embrace distinct responsibilities within God’s good design.

Where do we go from here?

When we look to Jesus, we find a very different pattern. Throughout the Gospels, He consistently affirms women as equal bearers of the imago Dei. Whether engaging the woman at the well, defending the woman caught in adultery, or restoring dignity to the woman suffering from long-term illness, Jesus repeatedly challenged norms that diminished women.

As men – and particularly as Christian men – we are called to follow His lead.

Let us commit ourselves to doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with our God (Micah 6:8). Anything less cannot rightly be called love.

LEONDRE DOUGLAS

Preacher, faith adviser & chaplaincy development officer 

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