Pour into yourself and support the collective

Shirley Anstis argues for Black communities to continually celebrate their heritage and success, and to use Black History Month to connect with themselves and with others

I find I’m resistant to write about the trauma and challenge that comes with being Black in the world – not just in the UK but globally – as there are also many joyous moments and celebrations in being Black.

Since its inception in the UK in 1987, Black History Month (BHM) has given us a space in the calendar to look back at our history; celebrate our achievements; and educate others. Writers, such as David Olusoga and Afua Hirsch, have shown that Black history is also British history.

Increasingly, we can see the impact of history in our communities and our world. Historians can explain the conditions in parts of Africa and the Caribbean in terms of colonialism and the legacy of slavery, but we do not exist in a sociological study, and there are many other factors that affect the human experience. 

We have fewer good leaders globally willing to tackle the difficult questions for humanity. As citizens, we are more stressed, more self-centred and less empathic, so our tolerance for other people’s problems is at an all-time low. Meanwhile, skilled manipulators have perfected how to enrage large parts of populations, whilst they sit back and reap their ‘rewards’.

All this to say that the question of reparations is no longer whispered in hushed tones. In March 2026, members of the United Nations voted to designate the transatlantic trafficking of enslaved Africans as “the gravest crime against humanity”. Barbados’ Prime Minister, the very impressive Mia Mottley, is vocal on this. In their book, The Big Payback, Sir Lenny Henry and Marcus Ryder use a wide range of sources to propose ways in which reparations could work.

At the same time, we have diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives being rolled back in the UK and USA. We have leaders deciding to remove books on Black history from libraries, colleges and other places of learning. Spaces that are pro education and learning, deciding to reduce and restrict its learning about the global majority! So much is decided by money and power.

Where does this all leave faith groups and therapists? We work with people’s hearts and souls, helping them to heal trauma and offering hope. Whilst we’re very good at listening to the people we serve, we can also add our voices to those wanting a more inclusive society. Fighting racism is exhausting and takes energy away from other pursuits, but Black excellence seems insufficient to guarantee good outcomes. It’s a conundrum that many of us must navigate.

As a counsellor, I do believe that healing ourselves and working through past trauma, including racism, will put us in a better place to navigate life. Therapy can also help you/me/us to find joy after grief, love after relationship breakdown, confidence after low self-esteem and peace after conflict. Counselling can heal intergenerational rifts and lighten the personal baggage we carry in the world.

In my coaching, I help people to lean into different aspects of their identity and develop the resourcefulness for the life they want or already have. Yes, we can care for our children, parents and partners, but we must also look after ourselves.

In this Black History Month, we can pledge to look after ourselves so that we can also look after our loved ones and help our communities. The inspirational Oprah Winfrey talks about being filled so that we can pour into others. I like the idea of pouring into others and being poured into.

Of course, that involves lifting each other up.

• Where we disagree with people, we can give critical notes privately.
• Stop believing in false scarcity narrative, where we are led to think there is only one position for a Black person.   
• How others see us is not the only way we can see ourselves.
• By slowing down and going inward, we may come to know ourselves better than any surface level judgment made by others.

As continuously growing adults, we have many roles – public and private. My vision for myself and for you is to be able to relate to the different parts of ourselves and appreciate all that we are. This helps us to be resilient – whether dealing with racism or other life challenges. Look after yourself and build your community of people to encourage and support you. Faith and courage are good partners for this journey we call life.

SHIRLEY ANSTIS
Counsellor, coach & writer
Visit www.envisioncounselling.co.uk
Connect on LinkedIn and Instagram @shirleyanstis