Securing Your Marriage Against Divorce

Pastor Timothy Oladipo shares six ways couples can divorce-proof their marriage

‘Let no one separate what God has joined together’ (Mark 10:9).

The above verse of Scripture isn’t only referring to third parties, but also to the spouses involved in the union of the marriage. Our marriages are constantly in motion, with various factors keeping them busy. However, for our marriages to truly flourish, we must invest in them beyond the routine tasks of daily life.

Let’s delve into this empowering topic of safeguarding our marriages against divorce. In a world where divorce rates are skyrocketing, it is crucial to remember that with God’s guidance we can create a marriage that can weather any storm.

By following the principles below, we can build a strong foundation that will protect, strengthen and divorce-proof our marriages.

1. Prioritise Your Relationship with God
The cornerstone of a solid marriage lies in our individual relationships with the Lord. By seeking Him daily, we invite His wisdom, love and grace into our lives, which will overflow into our marriage. The closer we get to God, the better spouses we become. Let’s make God the centre of our union!

2. Love Unconditionally
Love is a commandment from God that requires our commitment. As followers of Christ, we are called to love one another unconditionally, just as He loves us. We must strive to show grace, forgiveness and kindness to each other, even during challenging times. Remember, love covers a multitude of sins! While love covers a multitude of sins, it will also always address those sins with love (1 Peter 4:8).

3. Maintain Open and Honest Communication
Communication is the key to a thriving marriage, so take the time to actively listen to your partner’s thoughts, feelings and concerns. True communication isn’t just waiting for your turn to speak (!) but creating an environment of mutual trust and understanding. Be open, honest and respectful in your conversations, and together, you can overcome any obstacle!

4. Make Intimacy a Priority
Intimacy goes beyond physical connection; it encompasses emotional, spiritual and intellectual bonds. Invest time in nurturing these aspects of your relationship too. Pray together, share dreams and aspirations together, and create moments of joy and laughter. Allow your love to grow deeper every day. Agreement between the two of you will stem from intimacy of mind and spirit. For the two to walk together, there ought to be agreement (see Amos 3:3).

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NKJV) puts it this way: ‘Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for hehas no one to help him up.’

The place ofintimacy is the place of oneness of the mind, will, emotion and spirit.

5. Seek Guidance and Support
Recognise that no one is perfect, and no marriage is perfect either. James 3:2 (ESV) says: ‘For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.’ If there cannot be a perfect man, surely there cannotbe a perfect marriage. But we can experience daily growth inmaturity as we surrender to our perfect God and to His perfectWord.

Don’t hesitate to seek guidance from trustworthy, godly individuals, pastors or counsellors who can provide biblical wisdom and support during challenging times. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness! If there are serious issues of serial physical, psychological, emotional or financial abuse or concerns, consider seeking professional help ASAP.

6. Learn the Art of Forgiveness
Remember that no marriage is without its flaws, but, with God’s grace, we can overcome any trial that comes our way. Embrace the biblical principles of agapé love, forgiveness and open communication. Forgiveness plays a vital role in cultivating a resilient marriage and nurturing a lifelong bond. It allows us to release past transgressions and heal old wounds, fostering an intimate connection that endures.

Discovering the truth about marriage takes time and effort. It is not always a smooth journey filled with constant affection and bliss. Instead, it can be challenging, testing our patience, and causing emotional wounds. However, by practising daily forgiveness and embracing these principles, we can build a marriage that is divorce-proof and filled with love, joy and lasting commitment.

By following these tips, let’s ensure our marriages remain strong, fulfilled and fortified against external infiltration and temptations.

Remain envisioned.

Timothy Oladipo is Pastor at King’s Chapel, London. He is an avid blogger and teacher with a passion for equipping people to maximise their gifts and calling. Connect with him on Facebook at Time In The Word with PT and on Instagram and Threads @ptofficial

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