It’s time for carers to care for themselves
Shirley Anstis provides some guidelines on how carers and those who work in caring professions can put themselves first over Christmas and beyond
Caring for others has long been at the heart of faith. Whether you are a carer, foster parent, welfare officer, pastor, therapist or nurse, you will know what it feels like to be responsible for the care of another person. It is a beautiful thing to be able to care for others, but it can also be a strain on the carer.
But what toll does caring take on the carer? Carers can be looking after people physically, socially, mentally and emotionally. They can experience exhaustion, compassion fatigue, burnout and illness.
Self-care
Many carers lose themselves in the caring role and forget to look after themselves. Self-care is when we take time to care for ourselves. It is not indulgent, and it is very necessary. Self-care is recognising our human frailty and valuing the life we’ve been given.
If you are a carer, here are some ways you can show yourself some self-care:
Have clear boundaries
This means deciding what spaces you need in your life and what you might do to look after yourself. Maybe it’s about giving yourself permission to say no to things you don’t want to do. Perhaps it’s switching off your phone. Protected or scheduled time can then be used to do self-care activities that leave you feeling looked after.
Get enough rest and sleep
Sleep is so important for our health and well-being, yet we do not prioritise it enough. Our modern way of living keeps us exposed to too much artificial light and technology, negatively affecting our sleep. There is also a lot of anxiety in our world, so we often find it hard to switch off. We need to follow all the best advice available on how to get good restful sleep.
Be creative
Increasing our creativity also helps us to stay well. It is about expressing yourself through your creations. For some, it might be making music, baking a cake, or painting a shed.
For me, this includes journalling, photography, painting, and sometimes writing poetry. These activities help me to de-stress. What does creativity mean to you?
Spend time in nature
Our human bodies are restored by time in nature. Even when we can’t see or feel the sun, standing on grass under the sky is beneficial for our bodies. Being in nature helps to calm us. This could be anywhere – from a tiny garden to a large public park. Being outside at least once a day helps to improve the quality of our sleep too.
Look after your mind
What we read, watch, and listen to will affect our minds. Are you taking in information that gives you hope, or does it increase worry? Do you lose hours, with no awareness of how you spent the time? Personally, I find that learning new things expands my life to include surprising things. You might decide to take one hour a week to attend a foreign language, art or drama class, for instance.
Look after your body
Sometimes when we’re looking after people, we forget about caring for our own bodies. Eating healthy food helps to nourish our bodies. Exercise or movement also help to keep us well. Exercise could be walking, dancing, Pilates, swimming, biking or running. Any exercise is better than none.
Nurture your soul
Faith, music, culture can all be seen as part of soul care. We can support this aspect of our well-being through prayer, meditation and mindfulness. We could also practise gratitude/thanksgiving which has been shown to increase our well-being.
Ask for help
So often as carers we can feel that we must do it alone. Asking for help when needed shows both vulnerability and strength. As a parent to a special child, my husband and I have had to be open to many people in our network to get the help we need for our son. You may also need to ask for help for yourself to make your life less stressful.
Going Forward
As we approach the busyness of the holiday season and begin to think of the year ahead, we can include self-care so that we remain well and are able to show up for others. Perhaps we can also organise to support those in our community who find themselves taking on this incredible role.
SHIRLEY ANSTIS
Counsellor, well-being coach and author
@shirleyanstis
